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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Dr. Phil


The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that she must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.

What we need to do is help her realize how stupid she's acting by not taking on her 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.




Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why she wants to cross this road so bad.

So instead of having the chicken learn from her mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that she can just drive across the road and not live her life like the rest of the chickens.


George W. Bush


We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.

The chicken is either against us, or for us.

There is no middle ground here.


Colin Powell


Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

Anderson Cooper


We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


John Kerry


Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.

I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


Nancy Grace


That chicken crossed the road because she's GUILTY!

You can see it in her eyes and the way she walks.

Pat Buchanan


To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Martha Stewart


No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.

I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

No little bird gave me any insider information.


Dr. Seuss


Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, the chicken crossed the road,

but why it crossed I've not been told.


Ernest Hemingway


To die in the rain.



Jerry Falwell


Because the chicken was gay!

Can't you people see the plain truth?

That's why they call it the ' other side.'

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.

And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.

I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'.

That chicken should not be crossing the road.

It's as plain and as simple as that.




In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


Barbara Walters


Isn't that interesting?

In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.


John Lennon


Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.




It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


Bill Gates


I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.


Albert Einstein


Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


Bill Clinton


I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.

What is your definition of chicken?


Al Gore


I invented the chicken!


Colonel Sanders


Did I miss one?


Dick Cheney


Where's my gun?


Al Sharpton


Why are all the chickens white?

We need some black chickens."


Hillary Clinton


I have vast experience with chickens and when elected, I will ensure that EVERY chicken has the ability to cross any road they desire.


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